there is no synonymy

there is no synonymy

i write in circles

like an ant, dropped
into the reservoir of
the toilet, laughed at
as it tries to climb up smooth

edges

and home to its queen (or
really, just to stay
alive) i write

in circles, the same
topics over and
over and
under
and
through, hoping
that this time, i captured
the feeling just right

(but i'd better try
again, just to be sure)

i
write
in
circles

to avoid the question
of what i'll do
when i run out of phrases
and metaphors and maybe
even similes, because
if i admit

that the night scares me
and so does tearing
and bee-stings
and being rejected again
by someone I respect so much

then
a circle won't hold
me together anymore

(and i'll remember
that ordinary
ants

can't fly)